Seasons’ greetings to you all, my friends. Welcome to the festive edition of SaintLuxx horoscopes. I hope Father Christmas and his merry little elves have something in their sack to cheer you up.
Christmas can be a particularly spiritual time for many people, predominantly because we all get presents, which is amazing. But also because there is an emphasis on family, friends, communion and… presents.
Without further ado, here are your predictions for the Christmas season:
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Creativity always comes in handy at Christmas; this year will be no different. As ever, you’ll put a lot of time and effort into making gifts for people. But, make sure you save some time for yourself; we don’t want you tiring yourself out, getting angry, and kicking off at the Christmas table like last year.
Take it easy, order some shit off of Amazon and get some sleep.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
This year’s Christmas events will see your sensitive side getting utilised more than normal. You’ve always been an excellent listener, and this year, a couple of friends who are going through seasonal relationship breakdowns will really appreciate your ear.
You’ll probably not have a butt load of fun, but at least your pals will be grateful.
Gemini (April 20 – May 20)
I’m happy to inform you that your Christmas is shaping up to be a right cracker. Your mood swings are going to be kept under wraps, mostly because there is a new relationship forming.
It’s someone you’ve known for a while, and you might have had an idea that something was going to happen – keep your eyes out for a mistletoe encounter.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Lots of people would hate being cooped up indoors for days at a time, but not you. You Cancerians love being locked down at home. So, you’ll like that this season. As ever.
Unfortunately though, this year, you’re going to be pretty broke and feeling a bit bad that the presents you give are a little shoddy. But don’t worry – no one will mind, and you’ll have a nice time anyway.
The 12th of December is likely to be particularly weird – you have been warned.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Thankfully for everyone else, your ego experiences a little bit of trauma over the Christmas period. It’s nothing major, but an embarrassing failure knocks you off your high horse.
Thankfully for you, it’s Christmas, so people quickly forget – you’re likely to brood over it for a while. Don’t worry though, no one is always right.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
I know you lot thrive among company and enjoy a lively debate. But, sadly, this Christmas is going to be a bit of a lonely affair. There will be some friends popping around, and you’ll see some family, but you might get the occasional twinge of loneliness.
Overall though, the time alone does your mental health some good, so try not to mope too much, and stay away from the gin.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Your quiet, reserved nature will be under wraps this Christmas. For some reason, you’ll be popping way out of your shell to say “Hi” to the seasonal revellers.
True to form, you will be well-balanced on the whole, but in private you’re going to be quite the party monster.
December 31st is likely to be a bit of a traumatic day for you – watch out for a lady in red and a man called Chris.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
A lot of people might think that your brash and bold nature won’t fit in well at the Christmas table; this year, you prove them wrong. You might be loud, but you still know how to conduct yourself around new people.
Make sure you take people up on their offer of lunch this year; don’t sit alone. Get involved. Sometimes you frustrate yourself with your bullish nature, but don’t worry this season my friend – everyone will be drunk already and hardly notice.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You’ve had quite a year, haven’t you? I bet you’re looking forward to some down time and a lovely rest, aren’t you? Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news… it’s going to get hectic.
Surprise guests, a weird bit of romance, and some last minute plans are going to keep you moving right until 2016’s last drop. It’s all good though, so no sulking, OK?
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You love Christmas (even though you pretend you hate it). You get to organise the shit out of things, and you love that (even though you pretend you hate it).
As ever, you’ll have a good time, if a little knackering. However, you will make a couple of small mistakes. Others will blame you and you’ll take it on the chin as always, but as the January blues kick in, you might start to brood on it a little.
Remember, you’re a good person, there’s no need to drill yourself down.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Honest, loyal and intelligent. That’s Aquarius, right? Normally perhaps, but not this year. You’ll be smashing moulds left, right and centre this year. Father Christmas needs to lock up his daughters, and sons.
You’re off the chain. Recent events have sent you a bit loopy, and not necessarily in a good way. You’ll be hitting the lager, and perhaps the rum; but try and take it steady… if the sun hasn’t passed the yard arm, you shouldn’t make that coffee Irish. You get me?
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Although this Christmas will be a quiet and reflective period for you Pisceans, you’ll have a nice time. It’s been a hectic year and it’s about time you took a few moments out to chill.
You’re a gentle individual and haven’t necessarily been treated all that well this year. Next year will be better I promise (probably). Make the most of the Christmas peace – NYE is going to be a whole different game. Look out for that.